this & that for here & now

Heck.

Here's the address of my new blog. I'd prefer the layout and interface :D It gets better and better.

I have officially moved somewhere else to blog. privacy's sakes. not wanting everyone to know how i'm doing. morbid. ha.

Well i'd prefer tumblr since the layout is much more simpler. If you want to know the address.. Leave your link / email and i will reply to you my new blog add. Livejournal's been cool. I'm a typical sell-out.

See you.

"We exist but we're taking it slow
Now let's just see how we go"
-Lily Allen's Who'd Have Known

I've yet to blog her for a month i think. I am not even sure if people do bother reading this space anymore. Or see a reason to even read it in the first place.I'm drifting further up the river of life or in lay-man's terms, "growing up". The pleasure of writing has somehow seeped away from me plus the thrill of being online has somehow subsided. To think i am paying $74/mth for this mobile broadband but i rarely use it. Boohoo. Except the occassional pirate acts! ;)

You know the part where there is so much things you wanna write down but you're not sure how to express it and whether it will come out right?  This past few weeks i've been feeling a bit different. Possibly much more mature and perhaps i am able to act like my age. I am not longer regressed, i feel a bit less responsible too though they say when you make a certain choice, you sacrifice something else. I have sacrificed "something else" but it may be for "something better" to come. This may have been the toughest decision i have made in my life but i just felt i had to do it and leave the relationship. It was slowly taking my energy for the worse, though i can say i will never love someone else just as much or give as many. Ahh so much drama but at least we're still friendly.


I am not working today nor tomorrow cos there isn't much work but i still will get paid! How amazing is that?! Okay chiao time for lunching.

I'm turning into a private person. So i am blogging elsewhere. Maybe.

Toodles.

 I admit i am such a boring person. Though at times I can be very very interesting and interacting with me can be the most riveting activity on the face of this planet! Still i do have my share of inflexibilities and insecurities (like STILL not getting a full time job, my mum is showing the utmost concern, by getting me the newspaper and asking me to check the Recruitment section :(  GAH)

I will get over this "trial" period no matter how depressing it is. I took a break from job hunting last week & went to the zoo with a couple of mates from work. Very very fun.There is such thing as a free lunch in this world after all. I like the zoo, but when i was youngeer the thought of walkin. I am trying to upload all the photos into Photobucket but apparently it has been an hour and once i uploaded it the photos dont seem to appear on the album. This is pissing the hell out of me.

Anyway guess what i will be going cable skiing later on at ECP maybe it will be fun though i'm not very sure if i should take part in it too. :D till then!

Pimples are annoying. I have one and its the size of Texas, or in local terms, perhaps Punggol. THAT has dampened my confidence for the day because if boyfriends notice it,it is B-A-D. Since 99% of the time they're ignorant to your looks unless 1)you make them look at you or 2)you are scantily clad or even maybe naked. ha!

I love micro-blogging! That is the way to go, extremely convenient, hassle free and to top it up, you can even update while taking a dump. Everyone's raving about it but it'll be a matter of time till people will get back to normal blogging. IF they do.

Anyhoo next time you're at the library or looking for a good book look for "Aliens-Why they are here" by Brian Appleyard. First, the author has a very catchy name, secondly, Aliens are a more feasible idea in movies & extraodinary occurences than goblins or pixies. (Last I heard, when i was in Brownies talk about goblins, elves &pixies were the rage!)

I wonder if people do read my blog, must only be a handful.

 I'm not SOOO easily frustrated. But i can be, though i often believe (after intense persuasion or a debacle in my head) i am a very tolerant person. More tolerant than Jesus. More tolerant than that roti prata man or Indian pancake. I am mature yet tolerant. See how it rolls off your tongue?

I'm getting real tired of applying for endless jobs. ARGGHHHH. Sometimes 5 months really feel like a week except that unfortunately i am in a tedious cycle which never cease to end. *ONE BIG SIGH*

I'm really looking forward to Fauzie's birthday i got him a very funny gift even my mum was amazed at how ridiculous i can get. That's just me! Interesting quirky and often misunderstood. haha! He'll be 23 this June and apparently if you're a non believer  Geminis and Leos do get along REALLY WELL. This month would be our 3rd year together irregardless of how many times we had our major tiffs but i believe we'll be together even longer than that! (I HOPE!)

Happy Monday to you. I hope everyone is really doing well. To Jelynn and Sotong I hope we can go to Netherlands together in December. I wanna see snow. :D

I may have applied about 14 jobs this month so far and probably it'll get more by the end of the month. GEEEEEZZZZ. Not that i need MORE money, i am fine with my current temporary job but sometimes you need to break the cycle when its get a bit dull. -.-'''

To potential employees if you are looking for great enthusiatic smart and definitely efficient people you're looking at me NOW! (Something with moral fibre of course. LOL)

My mum is what you call a mocktail, wild and flavourful but still conservative (the lack of alcohol in the beverage remember?).

My youngest sister has advised me not to waste money bringing her to restaurants with western cuisines ESPECIALLY one with lots of pasta and dishes drowned with cheese. It makes her barf anytime of the day. Maybe because just 2 weeks ago that my dad brought her to a pasta restaurant and she rejected the pasta wholeheartedly, only with a minuscule taste of it.Or perhaps the pasta rejected her. She's one fine lady. Today i wanted to tell her how miserable i am, how i just want to lay down in bed and stop thinking for once. Stop worrying. A week ago i had acne the size of Texas. But that's not the whole point. I feel miserable, i really do. Part of me dissolved last night. It'll go away i know it.

I look up to my mum because as she got older she became more independent, wiser and perhaps a bit more load on her shoulder since she's practically a single mum -.-'' I feel weaker than i usually am, i am worrying the whole world on my shoulders. And right now i need a sandwich, that may perk me up by a little bit. 

Queen-I want to break free


I want to break free
I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies
Youre so self satisfied I dont need you
Ive got to break free
God knows God knows I want to break free

Ive fallen in love
Ive fallen in love for the first time
And this time I know its for real
Ive fallen in love yeah
God knows God knows Ive fallen in love

Its strange but its true
I cant get over the way you love me like you do
But I have to be sure
When I walk out that door
Oh how I want to be free baby
Oh how I want to be free
Oh how I want to break free

But life still goes on
I cant get used to living without living without
Living without you by my side
I dont want to live alone hey
God knows got to make it on my own
So baby cant you see
Ive got to break free

Ive got to break free
I want to break free yeah

I want I want I want I want to break free....


Could anyone be losing anything that could possible be the best that has ever happened to them?

 Manic Street preachers is such a good band... Though i often get tired of some songs ever so often but Lifeblood is a great album. I am listening to "A Song For Departure". What a title.

Anyway i am in a very dead cycle for 3 months. The job market is sooo bleak. If you have a job and  the next time you're complaining about not getting enough perks and giving head for too long or not getting that promised bonus, think of us unemployed graduates! 5job applications and counting...

On a much much LIGHTER NOTE. I will be having fun tonight and getting some Butter. ho-ho-ho.

Significant activities since going online 2 hours ago.

1. Tweet.

2. Read up on a parody by Alexandra G. Bell on "Twitter" . Yes he has long been gone but will an inventor be just as annoying as his invention?

3. Suze Orman.

4. Anderson Cooper is such a hot news correspondent.

5. Time to switch OS.

I am reading "The Economic Naturalist..(Why Economics Explain Almost Everything) " By Robert H Frank. It is delightful, and it gives me chills. Maybe because it is a smart book, it does explains a lot on the mechanics of our everyday lives. Like why we never have milk in a cyclinder packet, why in a high rise apartment the highest floors are always more extravagant whilst in a 4 storey apartment the first two floors are the most expensive.. I'm coming round to the part why kamikaze pilots wear helmets! Has that crossed your mind yet? Imagine patriots awaiting their deaths in the hot seat of the fighter pilot, very sure of their fates (which is to die, in honor and glory of their country), but still insisting in putting on their helmets before doing so.

A simple analogy to explain this will be if A wishes to kill herself from the 13th storey and makes the effort to use a parachute. The punchline is the irony of the situation (not that its funny when people wish to kill themselves).

I got to work my brain. Make it think harder, work harder when thinking till i feel it will snap. Its been a long time since i studied. I can't remember when was the last time i studied.. Since the O Levels perhaps?In Republic it was definitely MORE play than work. Work is absent almost all the time. Going to class was more like "a convergence to exchange ideas to make solutions to the day's problem more VALID".. Ok la simply put we go to class, make some *bullshit* answer, dump it in PPT and we're done for the day. I don't regret it, it was all in good fun. But.. (here comes the BUT) i've been thinking the past few days i got to do something. I've been browsing courses for Degree programmes for a bit and hope to settle onto something quick. Starting to be REALLY REALLY restless. -.-'''


On a much lighter lighter note! I was told that if you have your fifth child and beyond, in regards to the Baby Bonus Scheme, you'll get a maximum amount of S$18k!The money will not be able to be withdrawn immediately, it'll be by instalments of half years. You can read it here--> http://www.babybonus.gov.sg/bbss/html/English.pdf. I remember having this conversation with someone at work. Its quite funny.

Me: Hey D would you even get more than 5 kids just to get that sum of money??

D: Why not! i wouldn't mind making a football team!

Me: I don't think i'll reach that goal, i'll look like a cow by then.

D: *frowns* Thanks eh.

 

I'VE OFFICIALLY GRADUATED!!

Here's a photo to prove i have done it, yet again to graduate from an education institution in Singapore which serves as a reminder *well, something like a poke in the ribs*  "Where's next?".

As i am typing this i am having a very very painful headache. Not because i've been thinking aggressively about my future, but because the heat is getting unbearable here. If you have iGoogle locked as a bookmark on your PDA or you are an avid follower of the weather in SGP, the temperatures seem to be soaring to as high as 33degrees Celcius. I'm sorry for sounding whiny. I do not mind if it is HOT yet WINDY. But it is HOT and extremely HUMID, which does not go well together.(If only the market was also soaring as high as the tempC..)

Back to my thoughts on graduation. I may well have almost 1245321 people who have asked me what i am going to do now. -.-''

I'm pleased to inform you that i may be sticking with my happy whappy job for quite some time till things will look up- which leads to the next question (or statement!), when will things start to look up? Unlike the weather, you can't predict the economy MUCH. Ironically, negative predictions are more prominent and "Easy" to be predicted than the likelihood of a positive economy.. Whatever it is, as long as something makes the general public happy, almost anything suffice. Even if coffeeshops here in SGP start changing their utensils.

Time to sit still and be productive while doing so.

 I am back from BKK. It was one hell of a trip, so many things happened during my duration of 6 days immersing myself in the culture, lifestyle and notwithstanding the politics of the Land Of Smiles. I'm still recovering from the fact that time is my distate right now. Its been a week since i got on my *first ever plane ride. I'm still a virgin to the skies apparently*. Time is too fast. We are growing up physically, (mentally will very much depend on the human being or the premise) so fast, that the next time we'll ever look back we can only proclaim "Oh it feels like yesterday!". I really hate it when i'm caught in such a situation. It is a vile, sick reality all of us have to endure.


My time spent in BKK was sort of.. futile yet memorable. We saw many protesters in red shirts, troops coming in from various part of the city to barricade the intersections of the Victory Monument, buses set on fire, tyres set on fire.. what have you. On Sunday we wanted to catch Muay Thai at one of 2 major stadiums in BKK and had to cancel the plans. Shit was happening, protesters were all over the place coming to our directions and we ended up having dinner at the hotel and watching a documentary on birth of cats and tigers on tv at the hotel lobby. The whole thing probably left me stunned, since in SGP everything is safe. Anyone can walk on the street *almost* anywhere at any time of the day and you feel secured without weighing any possibility that any shit can happen to you but it almost did there. We really take things for granted when you think about all the things that are happening elsewhere you start to appreciate the purpose why certain acts, policies or entities are set this way for a reason or for a benefit which we need to take a step back and understand it. Purpose. Purpose. Purpose. 


I think i'm sort of meek, when it comes to realising that life is brutal. I am not bracing myself for such events if it were to happen. I am smart enough to understand the consequences but maybe not as wise to face it. How funny i sound now. Meek, when one prefers to think of himself (or herself) as smarter, faster, better than any other organisms, micro or not.


Wait i'm still the same mad, enthusiastic, random and occasionally silent. :P

This was probably a night to remember for many many reasons i can't explain.

Thank you friends who have made life in school worthwhile!

Many times i log on to my LJ and i dont seem to blog anything. Wait i do blog, happens that once i started writing, i sort of got carried away with what i wish to write and seeing the text is no longer comprehensible, i'll X the window. Which occurs once too many!

I'm starting to feel really tired with what i am doing with my life and i feel it goes for so many people out there. Years back when i was still very naive (but still smart :P ) i used to think eventually i will end up with a fantastic job, life will unravel many surprises and my efforts, whatever they are, will bear fruit one day. Maybe a glamorous job in the advertising industry? perhaps a high flying job in the skies.. I don't know. I happen to be specialised at being a procrastinator. Procrastination is almost as chronic as cancer but the only difference is that it can be cured. How often have i procrastinate at doing something when i badly want to get it done and over with? Or am i simply treating each and every task i am laid with as a job which i will definitely be indifferent and not enthusiastic about it.

I was thinking of X'ing this window but screw it, i'll just publish it as a reminder i should not be ashamed of whatever issues i am dealing with IF i want it to be settled one day.

Happy Happy Happy!

Supposedly now AIG is asking their executives to give back half of their bonuses back. Boy we're talking millions of US$$ and possible breach of trust with employees here man! At a time when we need more money we're having pay cuts and maybe losing our jobs. How ironic can this get? (Google it!)

Mum asked me to head to job fair. I can't bring myself to act upon the fact that I'm just too pessimistic to find one or to seek for employment. I'm having too much fun. Or is it me being ridiculous again? Wait it IS the recession of the century!argh.

Ethan Hawke's coming to town for The Bridge Project!One performance which transcends the Atlantic since they're having British actors in too. Its not that often you'll get to be in the same room as a Hollywood actor!Maybe Uma's in town too! (if they're still together)

For I end met old old friends this week! they're looking so good!It felt like only yesterday since we last met. I may be in a permanent state of deja vu.

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I think i may well have received a rather angry email. Well, not only myself but the whole batch of us may have received an angry email from one of the management of our course. Seems that people are showing a lack of interest for our own grad night. The ultimatum is either 50people MIN turn up or they will cancel the event altogether. It will be at DXO near Esplanade-2 months since we last left school. How grand! I may have forgotten the names of some people and how annoying they were... hermm..

I'm in no hurry to get a job. I think whatever i am earning seems to be enough but definitely i'm not spending 90% of my time on the couch surfing lifeless tv channels. If i work hard enough, it seems i can go somewhere decent end of the year for a bit of travelling. If i work non-stop till i drop, i may well have enough for 1 month of travelling plus probably falling sick. I can't wait its 3 weeks more till i head to BKK! I checked the passport yesterday which is now donning Spongebob Squarepants as the cover, as of 2004 i have 2 stamps from the same country across the causeway. I am a depressing person sometimes sucked of all pleasures of travel. You may well have realised that i HAVE been gushing about BKK for the past 2 months. ;)

For better updates i've been on Twitter for the past few months as its more convenient and a lot of other things.

www.twitter.com/nfad and FOLLOW!:D